So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im part way to drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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