She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
