so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
