shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
