birth control should be required to get into college
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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