So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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