I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His hands were made for my vagina.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize