Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
