she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
