Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
