Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
