hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
