At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
