I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
