How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
