The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize