Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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