and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
