I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All the doctor said was why
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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