nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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