can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
