so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
