im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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