Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
