just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
