Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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