if only i could text you this smell
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
not ubering you a puppy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
