I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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