talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
