Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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