You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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