if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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