Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she told me i tasted like america
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
