This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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