I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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