He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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