you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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