mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
