Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
