Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Never joke about your clitoris.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize