what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the evidence from last night is not good...
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever