Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.

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(956): View more from Texas

is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?

(210): View more from Texas

no

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(203): View more from Connecticut

They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(563): View more from Iowa

Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.

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(360): View more from Washington

Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

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(763): View more from Minnesota

How about we just have a naked taco night instead?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10

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