Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!