Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

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  (206): Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend. http://tfl.nu/38e6
  Replies (2) Good night (2122) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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  (925): tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too. http://tfl.nu/05va
  Replies (12) Good night (2185) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Hurt me personally.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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  (954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo
  Replies (18) Good night (1986) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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  (404): He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic. http://tfl.nu/a5vi
  Replies (21) Good night (961) Bad night (6668)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka

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  (325): I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka http://tfl.nu/q9is
  Replies (23) Good night (6766) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

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  (602): either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing. http://tfl.nu/e07a
  Replies (21) Good night (6525) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

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  (281): Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high. http://tfl.nu/02yt
  Replies (19) Good night (3656) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home

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  (502): new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home http://tfl.nu/1gm8
  Replies (25) Good night (7042) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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  (251): Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again. http://tfl.nu/n3jw
  Replies (33) Good night (3429) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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  (760): Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty http://tfl.nu/lyuj
  Replies (11) Good night (2630) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4682) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.

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  (209): Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt. http://tfl.nu/nrp4
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (3889) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.

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  (601): i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this. http://tfl.nu/9qd9
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (1805)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.

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  (309): My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers. http://tfl.nu/lxb6
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (213)

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