Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
