Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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