i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Found your dick twin last night
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
