Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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