very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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