I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
