I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She's like a pop up book from hell.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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