How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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