don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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