If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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