Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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