u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize