I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Randomize
