Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
