If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
