butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
