I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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