i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
