STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
