He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
