You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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