Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
