i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
