So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
