His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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