we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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