The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
